Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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