Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize