this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im about as happy as oj after his trial
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
