they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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