at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am one with the molecules
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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