she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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