mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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