How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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