i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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