Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How many fucks given?