Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups