u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first