It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure