Need sex. Gaining weight.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize