I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
