It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.