Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize