Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits