Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..