plz talk dirty to me
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We are two peas in an std pod
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.