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I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
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