Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men