problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.