Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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