it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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