So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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