I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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