JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize