He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
