Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
