So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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