Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You can't motorboat a personality
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize