no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
