i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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