omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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