i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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