You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
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So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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