so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize