I puked a lego.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize