Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
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