I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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