The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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