I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize