you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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