Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.