ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize