I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize