Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize