Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

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  (269): I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient. http://tfl.nu/pars
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.

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  (651): you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career. http://tfl.nu/bzxx
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/

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  (507): your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/ http://tfl.nu/cbt7
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.

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  (708): I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you. http://tfl.nu/rvgi
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.

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  (615): He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick. http://tfl.nu/ib3l
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!

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  (+49): They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany! http://tfl.nu/9nli
  Replies (14) Good night (6528) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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  (818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux
  Replies (14) Good night (5338) Bad night (1057)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.

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  (619): Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen. http://tfl.nu/rhei
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.

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  (360): Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night. http://tfl.nu/91du
  Replies (49) Good night (7630) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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  (479): Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know.. http://tfl.nu/03rh
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably

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  (414): Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably http://tfl.nu/eax2
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"

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  (+44): The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work" http://tfl.nu/byzn
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

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  (918): Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that http://tfl.nu/h4ec
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?

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  (616): Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape? http://tfl.nu/8v8b
  Replies (3) Good night (1164) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.

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  (310): I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle. http://tfl.nu/a8xs
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (215)

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