I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby