What a fucking waste of an outfit
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning