Wat do u mean how?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.