Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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