is your mom at the bar?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
