I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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