when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am naked and annoyed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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