think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
