I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize