do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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