I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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