This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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